Holiday Visitation Schedules: Making the Most of Family Time

Separation and divorce are the right answer for many families, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything becomes easier.

Scheduling holidays around visitation schedules can be particularly fraught, but some strategies let you respect everybody’s traditions and commitments while still making the most of family time. What’s needed is careful planning, open communication, and a willingness to compromise. Here are a few key steps that will help you make a fair and balanced schedule that considers everybody’s needs and desires.

• Take the time to talk to each other so everybody understands priorities and what’s needed to celebrate holidays in a way that respects all parties’ traditions.
• Create a plan that alternates holidays or rotates years based on priorities. Whichever method you choose will ensure fairness and provide the ability to plan ahead.
• If you are both in the same local area, find a way to split a day or holiday period. This is particularly helpful on a child’s birthday. There are many ways to do this, depending on which holiday it is and how you observe. Those who celebrate Christmas may split the holiday between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Thanksgiving weekend might be split with one parent having the children Thursday and Friday and the other parent having them Saturday and Sunday and then alternating every other year.
• Be understanding of the other parent’s work and travel commitments, as well as the realities of family emergencies and other issues that may require flexibility. Remember, before refusing to bend to accommodate the other’s request, you may want to make a similar request in the future. Being reasonable and sensitive about unforeseen circumstances works better for families than rigidity.
• Blended families are increasingly common and, when managed with an open mind, add significantly to a child’s support system. Remember that your goal is to reduce stress and provide your children with the benefits that come with family.
• Creating new traditions may be the best way to adjust to your new circumstances. If your children are only with you every other Christmas, find a new way to celebrate the holiday together when they return to your home.

As challenging as it may feel to adjust your approach to the holidays, doing so with an open mind and cooperative attitude will be the best thing for your children. If you need assistance with crafting a holiday plan, our experienced family attorneys can help.